Romance me, Lover of my soul

This semester of college has been hectic. There always seems to be so much to do with so little time. Can I get an amen?

The photo to the right is an accurate description of my day yesterday. Just like the blurred cars in the photo, I was so busy and restless. My heart had been aching. I felt overwhelmed and lonely. The enemy had been telling me lies after lies. So you know what I did, I brought it to the foot of the Lord. I asked him to silence the lies, to give me peace, to fill my heart with his love and joy. And just like William McDowell sings (yes, I love gospel music, y'all): "In the presence of the Lord, I have been healed, freed, delivered...I've found joy, peace, grace and favor." I just needed him to hold me in his arms. I needed someone to intimately love on me. It wasn't just in that moment though. I always do. I always need him. I am in desperate need of him all the time. His word comforts. His presence heals. When chaos surrounds me, his peace is abounding. When everything is going wrong or changing in a way that I don't see fit, he is still constant. He has a plan that is greater than i. He remains Sovereign.

I have been reading Captivating. Every woman needs to read this book (well, it would be beneficial for a man if he were to read it too. I'm going to read Wild At Heart afterwards but that's besides the point). It led me to ask Jesus to draw out of my heart a deeper longing for him, to become more intimate in my relationship with him and for him to romance me. Sometimes I think that in order to be romanced, ladies think we need a man to take us out and have a candle-lit dinner at sunset by the river. We get distracted by our desire for a relationship or for someone to sweep us off our feet. Well, maybe some of us wouldn't admit that. But I know that when I think about it, the desire and thought has been an idol in my life before. Oh, how that is so not true. Sometimes we tend to forget about our first Love when it comes to romance. Our Bridegroom wants to romance us in a way that no one else can. The One who created us wants to love on us in a way that is real and personal. He knows every detail of who we are, of the deepest places in our hearts, our desires, our needs. He wants to romance us. As I came out of the library that evening, God wooed me. His beauty was all around. I just stood in awe, and breathed it all in. I admired his beautiful creation. I admired the way he painted the sky that evening. I admired him for loving me with an everlasting love (jer 31:3). I praised him for who he is. He is so romantic.

“Nature is not primarily functional. It is primarily beautiful. Stop for a moment and let that sink in. We’re so used to evaluating everything (and everyone) by their usefulness that this thought will take a minute or two to begin to dawn on us. Nature is not primarily functional. It is primarily beautiful. Which is to say, beauty is in and of itself a great and glorious good, something we need in large and daily doses (for our God has seen fit to arrange for this). Nature at the height of its glory shouts, Beauty is Essential! revealing that Beauty is the essence of God. The whole world is full of his glory.”
― Stasi Eldredge, Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul

I am so excited to grow more in the Lord and for him to reveal himself to me in new ways, to experience more of this beautiful adventure with him, to learn more who I am in Him and to love on him more and more. I'm thankful for the sweet love of Jesus. I'm undeserving.

"Behold You have come over the hills, upon the mountain

To me, You will run

My Beloved, You've captured my heart

Won't You dance with me

Oh, Lover of my soul

To the song of all songs?" (Dance With Me, Jesus Culture)

Psalm 19.
Much Love.