a bond that is unbreakable

To my mother, brother and step-dad:
The beautiful family of mine that has always shown me pure, tender love and care...strengthening me when I feel hopeless and doubtful, comforting me in times of sorrow, sharing the best of times as well as the worst. You guys have shown me that a family means that no matter what we all go through, we will always stick together because it makes us stronger and whole, wiser and filled with more love than before. I thank you for this, for teaching me life lessons that I will not have to learn myself, for being the best... I just wanted to let each of you know that I am so thankful for you. I don't think that I could tell you this enough. My love for you all is unchanging; I love you with all of my soul, forever.

I walk into Your arms

"Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent." (Revelation 2:5)

The message this morning truly touched my heart. I feel as though I have drifted apart and abandoned the true love that I once had for Jesus, which is so hard for me to admit, and honestly, very sad. Last summer up until the end of '09, I was ON FIRE for the Lord. I served Him with my heart and soul, giving Him everything. I looked forward to reading the Bible every morning; I yearned to learn and to spread Knowledge. I invited many of my friends and those who aren't believers to church, hoping that they would open up their hearts and feel the LOVE that I had for Jesus. I hoped that they too could go through the life-changing experience of accepting Him as our Savior. I absolutely love helping other and last year my mentor and I put together a "Walk of Faith" to spread the Word and LOVE of Jesus throughout Summerville by passing out candy canes with Romans 8:28 inscripted on them, open to prayer and just spreading Joy that He has with-stilled within us. I feel that this burning desire escaped me for a while. I got so caught up in the world and things that truly don't matter. Nothing compares to God. Not I, especially. I haven't given Him the GLORY HE deserves from me. I am so undeserving of the goodness He has blessed me with... His unfailing love and mercy. I have a flaw, a fatal flaw: "But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first." (Revelation 2:4), I have abandoned the love that I had at first, when I first TRULY gave my life over to God, giving everything to Him...when the embers within me were burning so brightly with such fierceness. Without Him, I would be nothing and He is my everything. I love the Lord with all that is within me, and today, I have realized what a sucky follower of Christ that I am. There is so much more that I could be doing, so much more effort that I could be giving. I feel like lately I have just been going through the motions. I guess we all feel this way at some point, but today, I am rekindling the flames... beginning a new chapter, one in which I am myself again... one in which I let the HOLY SPIRIT move me, work within me, and overflow from me until I spill among those that surround me.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." (Galatians 5:22)

This is me, the fruit of the Spirit.

Risen...

^"Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" ~ John 11:25-26 NIV

Jesus is alive and He lives in me, forever and ever!

blessing in disguise

"Sometimes you have to be apart from people you love, but that doesn't make you love them any less. Sometimes you love them more."

This evening was wonderful. The Last Song was a beautiful movie, even if the book is far better. I'm complete and happy.

previous post

reminded me of a poem by William Wordsworth...

"I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud"

        I wandered lonely as a cloud
      That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
      When all at once I saw a crowd,
      A host, of golden daffodils;
      Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
      Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

      Continuous as the stars that shine
      And twinkle on the milky way,
      They stretched in never-ending line
      Along the margin of a bay:                                          
      Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
      Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

      The waves beside them danced; but they
      Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
      A poet could not but be gay,
      In such a jocund company:
      I gazed--and gazed--but little thought
      What wealth the show to me had brought:

      For oft, when on my couch I lie
      In vacant or in pensive mood,
      They flash upon that inward eye
      Which is the bliss of solitude;
      And then my heart with pleasure fills,
      And dances with the daffodils.

blossoming vivacity

I love questions. When asked anything, I normally answer without hesitance. But if asked what my favorite flower is, I would have to think about it. Today, as it was a sunny, slightly windy day, I was sitting outside for a few hours adoring God's creation...thinking. My mind wandered off and eventually I asked myself the question, "What is your favorite flower?". This is hard for me, considering the fact that I am indecisive and I think that every bit of nature is fascinating; then, I remembered one thing that will never escape my mind. Every spring the hill leading up to my nana's house would be covered with bright yellow flowers. I would play in them, pick them to place upon her kitchen table, put them in my hair, and of course...sniff the ever so calming scent of daffodils. I looked forward to watching the seasons change, and more so, seeing these beautiful flowers bloom. As spring approached I would always ask my mom to take me to nana's house to see the flowers. When they had not yet flourished, I kept in mind the sight that I would soon see as I continuously checked to see if they were blossoming. Now as I look back and think about it, as each spring passed, I was blossoming along with these flowers; prospering into a young lady, gradually maturing and growing- spiritually, physically as well as intellectually. I miss the peaceful, joyous setting of the countryside and the beauty that I found in the field of daffodils that covered that hill.

whisper to me softly

With our heads upon the pillowcase,

our conversation meaningful.

Gently tuck my locks of hair abaft my ears,

speak to me with such gentle ways.

Comfort me with words so sincere,

openly tell your whimsical thoughts.

Enhance me with your knowledge.

Show me passion, so intently,

in a gentle tone, inform me of how you feel:

Tell me it's real, tell me it's real.

Speak to me of your dreams and aspirations,

paint a picture in my mind

of glorious tints and shades, as I envision your life.

Let the words flow between your soft lips;

speak to my heart, oh,

whisper to me softly.