spread your wings

Today was a day filled with joy, tears, COMPLETE surrender, and healing. I started off the morning by showering (because it is so hard waking up early in the mornings for me during summer since I stay up so late), then I spent some time with God. I am on day four of the Bible study I'm doing (Living Beyond Yourself). It's crazy how much you see through God's eyes when you are in His Word after you haven't been soaking in it daily and how much He reveals to you. I'm so thankful for being back on track, for His guidance and the revival that has went on within me the past couple of weeks. A little while later, my best friend Taylor and her boyfriend Bryan (I've known him since 6th gr & her since 7th) dropped by before they left for Tampa, FL. We talked a little bit, then said good-bye to each other since I'm leaving on Sunday to move to Alabama. Then my lovely mentor Mrs. Rhonda picked me up...we got some pizza, then went back to her house. We talked a little bit about our spirituality, life, and the future/college. We went to church at around 6:30. It was senior night...Katie put together an amazing slide show of pictures from each of the seniors ranging from newborn to teenager. Of course that got me worked up because just thinking about then and now is beautiful. Paige spoke about three things she has learned and how that has affected her as an individual/gave some advice. It was a really great message; God has truly gifted her when it comes to speaking. Then she prayed us into worship...I analyzed some of the things I have learned, what I FEAR, and asking God to lead me/show me His path for me. My prayer was so intent, passionate and sincere, whether it was my words or the Spirit's. God's presence was upon like I cannot even explain. I went to light a candle for all of us going off to college...for strength and a solid foundation in Christ as we each go along our different paths. The song "Great I am" was playing so I began to freely worship. I thought I used to worship God before, but there was still a wall up...in the back of my head, I still cared what people thought, I still cared about my appearance. I LET GO completely of EVERYTHING worldly...all of my thoughts, cares, and worries. I have never been so overwhelmed by the power of the Holy Spirit or the presence of THE GREAT I AM. My entire body was shaking, I was crying so hard, shouting, and singing my heart out. My knees were weak...I felt as if I was going to fall to the ground any moment. Brandon said a prayer in the middle of "How He Loves Us" and the Spirit fell upon me even more. How often are we afraid? We care so much about what others think when it doesn't even matter. We can say we don't care, but we do...but how great it is to really let go of everything in the world and TRULY worship an audience of ONE. I really worshiped Him wholeheartedly for the first time in my life. I truly humbled myself. I bowed my heart, only to be filled by a God so loving. So soo loving. I can't even comprehend it. I just don't understand why I need anything in this world but Him. I just want to kneel in awe of His glory. Other than the day I was baptized and born again in Christ, or when I received the gift of speaking in tongues from the Holy Spirit, tonight was the best moment of my entire life. It only gets better because today was a day that God showed me SO MUCH. I can't even handle it. I had cake, then spent time with the best friend ever at Sonic. I went home to spend time with my friends Jamie and Chelsey at my house. Chelsey was my very best friend (like a sister). She was my first friend when I moved to Summerville and we stayed as close as close can get from 5th grade until like 11th grade. After I was baptized in 2008, my life changed completely. I didn't do the crazy/fun/some what mischievous things I did before. I was now a light to the world...an example of the Love and life of Christ to others. So we were both different, had new friends, and separated. It KILLED me emotionally. I felt like someone died. Anyway, it was such a blessing to spend time with her this evening. Before her and Jamie left, we hugged for a long time. Then she began to tell me what I needed to hear for two years now. We cried so much, but it was much needed. I am immensely thankful for this healing, for our friendship. I will miss her, along with all of the friends I have grown to love with my entire heart. I know this isn't the end of our friendships. Although it's so sad saying "good-bye", God has plans for each of us, whether some know it or not. Every road will intertwine how it is supposed to, and we will meet again. Today has just been...I don't even know how to put it in words, but my heart feels complete. I am so happy and filled with Joy.

Thank you God.

psalm 29:2

we still surrender in our hearts, your faithfulness is our reward